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Connect to the Why

Today I want to talk about connecting to the why. This is such a dear topic to me. Yesterday I had a great (and much needed) session with my life coach. It felt so good just to be honest about what I am going through and get perspective. I’m one of those people that enjoys my solitude and being still to let answers come. There are also times when I just need to hash out my stuff with someone I trust. That has proven to be a winning combination in my life for years.

The last two months I have been working so hard and haven’t had nearly as much down time for myself as I usually do. As a result I have been more tired and when I am on the tired side my tendency is to take things personally. When my energy is pulled in many directions and I have trouble connecting to the why, my greater purpose, and it’s easy to get bummed out by external stuff.

People stop following my Instagram feed. A friend doesn’t take my advice. A client fades away. When I am grounded in why I do what I do these things don’t even really register. I am fully able to go with the flow and am very trusting that things are all in divine order. When I am not grounded in why I do what I do, I start looking outside of myself for validation and guess what – it’s never enough!

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all have our core issues. It’s part of what makes us interesting and able to help each other. Many of them we got by default because of our parents. It’s not their fault, it’s just how things are. I know that one of my core issues is self-doubt. That will probably never go away and after years and years of fighting it, I am willing to surrender. The healing doesn’t come from trying to fix who we are, it comes from accepting our limitations and remembering that there is always a spiritual solution.

The remedy for my self-doubt is to check in on a daily basis with the why. The why for me is what gets me out of bed. It’s what inspires me to create and give no matter who is looking and no matter how much recognition I do or don’t receive. The why is deeply spiritual and transcends self-doubt every single time. The why isn’t based on ego and therefore is not affected by outside circumstances.

And it’s a practice. A daily practice. Each time I return to the why I come back to my true home and feel calm. This is the place I like to dwell and when I remember that it is always available to me things shift dramatically.


  • Love this post. I have never thought about it like that – ‘why do I do what I do?’ That is so helpful – because when you look at it like that, the rest falls away. I will now write this on a post-it note and stick above my work station. <3

    • ashley

      Thank you Meighan! I’ve been thinking about this so much lately and it’s really bringing me a great deal of peace. Love that you making a post-it note, I’m going to do that too!

  • I was just writing about the EXACT same thing. I think when you really LOVE your work (as health coaches tend to!) it can be quite easy to just over-do it. We must take time to replenish or the brain can totally go into overload. Thank you for the reminder!

    • ashley

      We are so on the same page! Yes, I completely agree, my brain needs a break too! Isn’t this such great work?! I am thrilled you are sharing your strength and voice with so many, inspired by you daily lady!

  • I could eat avocados any which way! While I often put them with carrots into my salads, never have I combined roasted carrots and avos… this I’ve gotta try:)
    Keep rocking that sugar cleanse lady!

    • ashley

      Right?! Me too. It’s a really good combo. I wish I could take full credit for it ;) I have no doubt you will love it! Was just on your blog a few minutes ago. Always a source of inspiration for me!

  • SO true what you wrote about being overworked and loosing the inner clarity. I experienced that in the last couple of month.. Being tired made me seek for outer validations which inevitably lead to discontent.
    Taking that quite down time is essential, And even thought I guide people toward it in my work, sometimes I do not giving it to myself enough.Partly because I love my works so much!
    Thanks so much for sharing this post!

    • ashley

      Hi Tatjana! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. As healers and teachers is it very important that we take down time to rest and nourish ourselves. I can totally relate to not giving yourself enough of it, been in that place many times and I am sure I will be many more times. It’s the nature of being of service. I am glad we connected around this topic, it’s very close to my heart and I love knowing other inspiring teachers are out there doing the best they can.
      Wishing you a wonderful week and sending lots of love. xoa

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