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My Conscious Pregnancy Journey: The Beginning


Like so many journeys, this one begins from from a place of deep questioning. It all started a year and a half ago when my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to have a child. I recognized I had some serious soul searching to do. At the time I was 33 which is not the same as 23 when you’re considering having a baby! I knew if there was ever a time in my life to really get to the bottom of this question it was right in front of me. With the help of my friends, teachers and this journal, I made it a point to decide what it was I truly wanted.

Within weeks of writing that first journal entry I had a handful of pregnant women asking for guidance on how to nourish themselves and their growing babies. The universe had my attention loud and clear. It doesn’t really get any more obvious than that does it? I had to laugh. I took those signs and ran with them.

Within another couple of months I connected with doula Erica Chidi Cohen. A spark was ignited during our first lunch and again, I felt the universe had a plan and this was all part of it. Since that lunch we’ve become dear friends and colleagues working together supporting mamas.

Questioning my own fears around being a capable mother, worries about bringing a child into this chaotic world, and healing aspects of my past has been such a wild ride. Today I am willing to say yes to what I feel could be one of the most profound transformations of my life, becoming a mother. I understand completely that the universe has her own plans for me, it just feels really good to have spent this last year and a half getting clear on my own wishes.

Ashley Neese

I am grateful everyday that I have been given the opportunity to process all of my feelings in such a loving and supportive community. Time and time again I am shown that love is truly limitless and that our capacity to heal is as great as we want it to be.

Embarking on the journey of consciousness and making a commitment to getting my literal, spiritual, and figurative house in order to prepare for a new life is beyond thrilling to me. And the more excited I become, the more mamas find their way into my life. Being able to take care of myself and support other women become mothers feels like a true circle of healing.


Photo of my Mama and I x Joy Mickenny and of my Father and I circa 1981.


  • That idea sounds amazing, Ashley! I am looking forward to these posts. And once again I am very grateful I found your blog! :-) Corina

    • ashley

      Thank you so much Corina! I am really excited about this series and to be able to share my process. There is so much information out there I thought a real life experience could be helpful. So grateful we connected and wishing you a wonderful weekend. xo

  • Rebekkah

    I’ve been on a similer journey. Wanting to know for sure it’s the right thing for me and my husband. I was 50/50 for a good 2 years and starting in January we felt 100 percent certain and ready and excited to start truly trying. I just turned 33. I hope my body is ready and willing and healthy enough to have a baby. I’m really excited and looking forward to your posts and your wisdom! Thank you so much for sharing with us! You are a beauty inside and out! xo -rebekkah

    • ashley

      Hello Rebekkah,
      So wonderful to hear from you. I am happy that you and your husband took the time to consider if having a child was something you truly wanted. That is such important work. You are at a wonderful age to have a child and I will keep you in my thoughts. Really happy to connect with you around this and I look forward to supporting your exciting journey. Lots of love. xoa

  • Keddybear

    I’m currently preggo after a miscarriage and I’m looking for ways to heal my mind and my body from the past. Your post made me relaxed and calm in the sense that this pregnancy is different ahs not a continuation of the past. I needed this. Today the universe told me to stop looking for the negative and focus on the positive.

    • ashley

      Thanks so much for being here and taking the time to share. I am right there with you with focusing on the positive, it’s essential for us and our growing babes. Wishing you ease and grace during your pregnancy. x

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