During a conversation with a friend yesterday these exact words came out of my mouth, fear is a terrible excuse. While intellectually I know this to be true it hasn’t been until recently that my heart completely caught up to it. Working with and though fears has been a long road, embarrassingly long. It is humbling to admit that but when I look at the big picture of my life it’s isn’t such a big deal. Part of my work today is remembering how far I have come instead of focusing on all that I am not yet. Truthfully I am glad to constantly be changing, learning new lessons and developing as a person otherwise what is the point of it all?
I cannot begin to count how many people have told me how different I seem in recent weeks. From yoga teachers to friends to my naturopath, apparently the ways I am choosing to live are evident to many. This feels amazing because all of the work these days is internal. Sure I practice a lot of yoga asana, am walking regularly and getting enough sleep but I am also fearlessly pursuing my passions, combined with self-care this is a powerful way to live.
So yeah, fear is a terrible excuse! It never holds up to any argument. And just to be clear I am talking about the fear that keeps us from going after what we want in life, not the fear of being in a bad neighborhood alone at night or something along those lines. Up until last year I operated at about 80-85% regarding going for my dreams. The other 15-20% I spent hiding out in fear. At the time I wouldn’t have necessarily called what I was doing or not doing hiding out in fear as it took on many different froms but that is exactly what it was. Somedays it looked like wasting time on the internet, other days it looked like not speaking up directly to the person I was dating, or sometimes it looked like skipping out on a yoga class because I felt dumb that I still couldn’t do a particular pose very well. The list could go on and on.
When coming up with the mantra love harder for 2013 it was clear that fear was finally going to have to take a back seat in my life. Loving harder meant that the 15-20 percent I was hiding out in was no longer a viable option for me. I was ready. I am still ready. To work through my fears it was helpful for me to get clear on what I was actually afraid of. The eBook is a great example. I had been wanting to publish a series of eBooks for a while but had a lot of fear surrounding it. I would think, oh what if all the recipes are bad, what if it doesn’t sell, what if nobody likes it, what if my recipes are too boring, I’m not a good graphic designer. These were all the excuses I had that kept me from creating the book. When I honestly looked at my fears I saw how they were all coming from my ego. Once I got that part I made the decision to not let my ego get in the way of pursuing a dream so I did the book anyway. It was really that simple for me.
It’s easy with fears to get into all these old stories we have about ourselves and quite frankly it’s just a waste of time. Today more and more I am making the conscious choice not to play those tapes and just get into what is happening right here right now. All that baggage from our past has no place in our lives today and the quicker we recognize that and commit to living in the present the better we will feel. Seriously. With nearly a solid month of close to 100% fearless living under my belt I can say that I am happier and lighter than I have been probably since I wandered around Berlin looking for the best place to eat vegan falafel a few years ago.
Going through my daily check list and crossing off all the actions I took to get closer to my dreams is one of my new favorite things to do at night. Since the new year I have already reached four major goals and walked through fears I had been living with for years. It is clear to me the direct relationship between living fearlessly and living in abundance because the two cannot exist at the same time. When I am walking through fears and taking actions that I was unwilling to take in the past I am placing trust in myself and trust in the universe, this is such an incredible way to live. I am grateful that I went through everything I had to go through to gain the courage to fully go after what I want without holding anything back.
Does fear ever get in your way? What is currently blocking you from living as close to 100% fearlessly as possible? What excuses do you have for not going after your hearts desire? Check in and let me know. Let’s support each other in being as authentic and fearless as possible.
Photo: Claire Cottrell