Lately I have been reading a lot of new books about energy and spirit and have been reminded, once again, that I have to keep letting go. It has become increasingly clear that the antidote to my fears are to move through them. It’s easy to tell someone to let go, but just how do you do that?
Practicing yoga postures is one of the ways I clear energy in my body also known as letting go. I remember years ago when I first started practicing I would have such intense reactions to poses, I would well up with all kinds of feelings and cry on my mat for what felt like a long time. Teachers would tell me it’s totally normal, nothing to be ashamed of, and that it was in fact a positive thing – I was clearing out old fears, emotional wounds, and past trauma. At the time their words registered but I just didn’t get it. I was so new in my practice and the idea of old energy and stagnation in my body didn’t really make sense.
Years later I am coming to understand what those teachers meant as I have much more body and energy awareness than I did in the past. When something happens today that triggers an old emotional wound I have two choices: I can feel the pain of that old wound and move on or I can stuff it back down. I spent years and years stuffing my pain. What that led to was a tremendous amount of anxiety, fear, and illness. I know today that if I make the choice to not deal with whatever is arising in me it will only make it worse. For so long I thought that stuffing it meant it would go away. This could not be further from the truth.
It hasn’t happened over night. I have taken many steps forward on my journey to let go and become the best version of myself possible. I have also taken many steps backwards. It’s just how it goes sometimes. I’ve been afraid and I have been stubborn. That’s the truth. The cool thing is the more I trudge forward and face my fears, wounds, and past trauma, the lighter I travel. Today that is what I want more than anything. I don’t want my present to be determined by the darkness of my past. I want to shine light on the darkness when it arises and become stronger, wiser, and more compassionate.
Just keep letting go. When something happens that rubs you the wrong way make the choice to not ruminate on it. If your partner says something that hurts your feelings, tell them and move on. Being honest and open is where we get to experience the healing powers of true intimacy. Showing our vulnerabilities is where we gain strength. Letting go is where we get to live fully in the present.
Photo: Marielle Chua